Week 1 Results



Bake-O's 44 - Egomaniacs 21
Kordell Stewart, as poor a game as he played, scored an absolute garbage time TD (even calling a timeout to set it up) with 0:01 on the clock on MNF and won the week for Bake-O's. Dan, strange as it sounds, you owe Slash lunch. Maybe Danny Kight can help you get in touch with him. Is Kight in the league anywhere this year, or is he back mooching off his parents? Travis Henry's 3 TD's put Bake-O's in a position to capitalize. Egomaniacs' woes were outlined quite nicely in an e-mail from Knaak himself. I see no reason to beat that dead horse here. I'll wait 'til next week and do it then.
Bake-O's                   44   Egomaniacs                 21
=============================   =============================
QB Kordell Stewart          9   QB Daunte Culpepper         9
RB Garrison Hearst          3   RB Corey Dillon             0
RB Travis Henry            18   RB Edgerrin James           0
WR Terry Glenn              0   WR Darrell Jackson          0
WR James Thrash             3   WR Donte' Stallworth        3
TE Freddie Jones            0   TE Ken Dilger               0
K  Jason Elam              11   K  Paul Edinger             9

Iron Men 31 - Outlaws 23
These two highly-thought of teams gave a good battle, and look good for the remainder of the year. I feel bad because I don't have as much to write here as I did for Bake-O's. Um...maybe one of these teams could draft Danny Kight and get him off his mama's couch. That might give me a couple more sentences of filler. Oh well.
Iron Men                   31   Outlaws                    23
=============================   =============================
QB Brett Favre              6	QB Jeff Garcia              3
RB Shaun Alexander          3   RB Curtis Martin            0
RB Anthony Thomas           6   RB LaDanian Tomlinson       6
WR Qadry Ismail             6   WR Marvin Harrison          3
WR Amani Toomer             0   WR Terrell Owens            0
TE Jeremy Shockey           0   TE Eric Johnson             0
K  Morten Andersen         10   K  Martin Gramatica        11

MacBain's 69th Highlanders 19 - Men'O War 18
Now I feel bad. I've been making fun of Rod all off-season then he goes and makes a mockery of my mockery by winning his first game. Of course, there are those who would say "Oh, he beat an expansion team not a real team neener neener neener." But I'm not one of those, nope. In fact, I voted for Dave in the poll last week. But wait, MOW isn't the one with Marshall Faulk. OK, it was just an expanion team Rod beat neener neener neener. Well, Dave will get another chance at his first UFFL win next week. Of course, he's playing Hook-Ups, who are the one with Marshall Faulk. Uh oh.
MacBain's 69th Highlanders 19   Men O'War                  18
=============================   =============================
QB Brad Johnson             6   QB Rich Gannon              6
RB Emmitt Smith             0   RB Stephen Davis            6
RB Tyrone Wheatley          0   RB Antowain Smith           0
WR Derrick Alexander        0   WR Isaac Bruce              0
WR Hines Ward               3   WR Plaxico Burress          0
TE Tony Gonzalez            3   TE Frank Wycheck            0
K  Joe Nedney               7   K  David Akers              6

Rage 27 - Munchen Mavericks 22
For all of his woe and lamentation (oh why did I start Redman, why why why?) Joe V. sees the crapshoot turn in his favor for once with a nice comeback win over the Renegade Rebels B-team. I mean Munchen Mavericks. Sorry. Adam Vinatieri leads the way, and good QB points on the bench give Joe hope. Good K points on the bench may be making Brett wish his running backs had scored.
Rage                       27   Munchen Mavericks          22
=============================   =============================
QB Chris Redman             3   QB Steve McNair             6
RB Duce Staley              3   RB Jerome Bettis            0
RB Fred Taylor              6   RB Deuce McAllister         0
WR Antonio Freeman          0   WR David Boston             3
WR Rod Smith                3   WR Eric Moulds              3
TE Ernie Conwell            0   TE Wesley Walls             3
K  Adam Vinatieri          12   K  Brett Conway             7

Renegade Rebels 42 - The Windmilling Chaos 34
The Game of the Week lived up to its billing for once. How about that. Eddie George and Ricky Williams gave RR a vintage big-RB day, and Warrick Dunn gave TWC more points than they're used to seeing from RB's. Olindo Mare became the first UFFL player since Pete Stoyanovich in Wk 1, 1995 to kick 7 XP (the league record is 8, by Mike Cofer in 1992, Wk 7). RR looks as good as ever, ready to wreak havoc once again. And I still say TWC is a dark horse. You'll see. You don't believe me, go fly a Kight.
Renegade Rebels	           42   The Windmilling Chaos      34
=============================   =============================
QB Donovan McNabb           9   QB Drew Bledsoe             3
RB Eddie George            11   RB Warrick Dunn            12
RB Ricky Williams          12   RB Ahman Green              0
WR Chris Chambers           3   WR Marty Booker             3
WR Derrick Mason            0   WR Joey Galloway            0
TE Bubba Franks             0   TE Chad Lewis               3
K  Olindo Mare              7   K  Ryan Longwell           13

Sweetness 34- Hook-Ups 16
Sweetness scored 34 points in a moving tribute to "Sweetness", Walter Payton, and in the process became the first expansion team to win by beating up on the Marshall Faulk-led Hook-Ups. Joe V. undoubledly watched in horror as Sweetness stole his trademark, getting decent points from five starters on the way to a strong win. Not bad for a guy with eight RB's on his roster. Wait, wasn't "Sweetness", Walter Payton, also a RB? Oh....I'm getting verklempt! Here's a topic...Marshall Faulk or Danny Kight, whom would you rather have sleeping on your mother's couch? Discuss amongst yourselves.
Sweetness                  34   Hook-Ups                   16
=============================   =============================
QB Aaron Brooks             6   QB Brian Griese             6
RB Tiki Barber              6   RB Marshall Faulk           6
RB Charlie Garner           9   RB Lamar Smith              0
WR Troy Brown               0   WR Laveranues Coles         0
WR Curtis Conway            3   WR Jimmy Smith              1
TE Shannon Sharpe           0   TE Zeron Flemister          0
K  Jeff Wilkins            10   K  Jason Hanson             3

Sea Stags 38 - Lethal Weapon 4 20
Newsflash! Ted Chappell abused by a Priest from Kansas City!!! It's not as grody as it sounds, though. All His Grace did was score four TD's and lead Sea Stags to a big opening-day win. And their K is from Poland, just like the Pope! Wow! Liturgical humor in the box scores. Who knew? Da Wep get points from Peyton and Hall and no one else. "Lethal", Ted? Yeah, "lethal" like a stubbed toe.
Sea Stags                  38   Lethal Weapon 4            20
=============================   =============================
QB Kurt Warner              0   QB Peyton Manning           9
RB Priest Holmes           24   RB Kevan Barlow             0
RB Thomas Jones             0   RB James Stewart            0
WR Randy Moss               3   WR Torry Holt               0
WR Jerry Rice               0   WR Keyshawn Johnson         0
TE Anthony Becht            4   TE Marcus Pollard           0
K  Sebastian Janikowski     7   K  John Hall               11


Last Modified, September 10, 2002
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